At the Chicago International SA conference Roy K. announced his departure from running the Central SA office. An ad hoc Central Office Oversight Committee (COOC) was created to provide short-term management of our SA Central Office affairs.

I’d like to say something about SA birthday celebrations. I think we’re carrying it too far, going the wrong way with it. For example, in a recent regional SA convention, applause, whoops and whistles weren’t enough, there were horns. Razzmatazz. Is it a popularity contest? Who registers highest on the applause meter? Is this putting principles before personalities or personality before principle?

A counselor let me borrow his copy of Sexaholics Anonymous. It has been a real breakthrough for me in understanding my problem and having real hope for a solution. I am a sexaholic struggling now 5 years for a “miracle.” I have stormed heaven and psychologists seeking redemption.…

Thank you for your program. It is like the lyrics of the song “Amazing Grace.” SA is what has saved me, but I wish I could have found it sooner. I molested my first child at the age of 21 and am now 41. Usually it has just been touching but the things I did to my step-daughter are horrendous. I always prayed for God to stop that behavior, but I didn’t realize how messed up my whole sexual life was until I found SA and found that I needed to stop it all, not just part.

…I am a high-bottom alcoholic and a low-bottom drunk … sexually sober for 14 months. I am eternally grateful … to SA, and to God for my new lease on life. I have received many blessings throughout my life, but my sexual sobriety is the most precious.…

“Some will be willing to term themselves ‘problem drinkers,’ but cannot endure the suggestion that they are in fact mentally ill. They are abetted in this blindness by a world which does not understand the difference between sane drinking and alcoholism.” (Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions, page 33.)
I believe these words apply more to me, the sexaholic, than to me, the alcoholic. I first heard these words in AA—I realized I was an alcoholic before I knew I was a sexaholic—but in sobriety I found it difficult to believe I was mentally ill.

Shortly after I entered SA in August 1988, some fellow sexaholics mentioned making a “daily contract” for sobriety. During the first few weeks of sobriety, I hardly needed a contract. I was so scared and miserable that sobriety was my only option. My second marriage was near an end, my acting out would cause me to quickly lose my job and I simply felt hopeless.

SA is growing on LI. We have 3 strong meetings in Seaford on Monday, Thursday evenings and Saturday morning. Over the last two months, many newcomers have been showing up, bringing our meetings to about 20 members each. Though sobriety is difficult, there are some true miracles here, thanks to the grace of God and a strong fellowship.

In April of 1990, this Wednesday noon group meeting almost died. Only two of us were attending and the church in which we met was locked most Wednesdays. We decided to move the meeting and now we have 10 to 12 every week with about 20 to 25 that come when they can.

We have about 7 to 8 regular members at the Laguna Niguel group. The meeting includes a lot of honesty, openness and caring. Much learning and recovery is taking place. We send our best to all involved in the SA program of recovery.

We are delayed in answering our group correspondence. We walk slowly, but we’re united in our purpose. Our unique group in Rio de Janeiro has six assiduous members. Others come a couple of times and disappear. Our recovery is slow, but we’re united, having always in our mind the desire to be well.

Our meetings are still small. Usually it’s me and someone else. I’ve been in contact with people around the country, but probably not as much as I should be. We’ve started to have monthly business meetings, too. It feels good to be sober, and the program works if I put it into action.

SA is alive in Albuquerque with four meetings per week and about 20 to 30 participating members. A few members have more than two years and several have a year of sexual sobriety. In summer 1990, the four groups and particularly newcomers to all the groups found they did not know who attended the other meetings, where collections went, who ran the phone line, P.O. Box or Central Office contacts.

The Central Office gratefully acknowledges the contributions recently received in answer to our request for additional financial support. It seems self-evident that, as a fellowship, SA must maintain a central clearinghouse in order to make it possible for sexaholics who still suffer to make contact with local members of the fellowship.

I would like to thank the members of SA for the opportunity I had recently to bridge the gap between the membership at large and the Central Office. I was invited to attend the conference held in Anaheim, CA on October 4, 5 and 6 and not only met some of the people I have talked to personally in the past but, during the one-on-one conversations, I was able to learn so much that will help me deal with future inquiries to the Central Office.

The following is a synopsis of minutes taken at the Chicago Convention Business Meeting, July 13, 1991, by David M., and approved by Jean P., who chaired the meeting:

Response to Roy K.’s Letter and Papers to Tri-State NY and June Essay
• 24 supporting letters and calls
• 3 letters (no calls) against

1. Evidence from individual recovery. Enough time has elapsed now for us to begin to see some history. Take an actual case history: A man comes into SA in the early Eighties and immediately is “hot SA.” Becomes a mover and shaker in his SA area. After a while, he decides to start some serious research in “committed relationships,” and in his eloquence and fervor (and sexaholic need) actually starts putting doubts in the minds of other members about SA sobriety.

There’s a program saying that goes, “The road narrows, but the vistas get more beautiful.” This is true not only in personal recovery but in the life of our fellowship. There have always been tough roads to travel in SA, but they’ve led to new and more sublime vistas. We are at another such juncture in the road today. Some hard choices will be made, but we can, in faith of how we’ve been led from above before, be assured that what lies beyond is not only what we need but leads to greater fulfillment and joy.

I have decided to sever all direct administrative connection with the SA Central Office as of this Chicago 1991 convention. My separation from the Central Office at this time may seem to be sudden, but the Advisory Committee and many others have known for a couple of years that I have been moving toward this action.