I began my recovery from sexual addiction three years ago by joining an online sexual addiction forum. That forum helped, but for me it wasn’t enough. Then I joined a Twelve Step phone conference offered through the forum. That helped more, but twice I relapsed after a seven-month clean streak.

I recently heard a member share in a meeting that he thought SA is not a friendly place for singles because our Sobriety Definition does not allow them to have sex. He questioned how he could be expected to stay abstinent for the rest of his life with that definition. When I heard this I laughed; maybe because I’ve had the same thought at times.

Two years ago, I was halfway through graduate school and living in Nashville. I thought I was doing pretty well for myself—until I sat down with my girlfriend in a student counseling session and explained my acting-out behaviors.

My story is similar to many I’ve heard—riddled with pornography, masturbation, and a multitude of sexual encounters. For most of my life, I didn’t even think that the things I was doing were wrong. Only when I wanted to stop and could not did I start the downward spiral into despair that brought me through the doors of SA.

Dear SA Fellowship,
As I celebrate three years of sobriety, I want to thank the SA fellowship for being such a large part of my life. The years I spent running around like a fool in your rooms were the best of my life. I greatly miss our regular fellowship, but I am so very grateful to still be connected with you in the way that I am.

I’m bored. That’s a dangerous place for me to be, because one of my stronger lust triggers is boredom. I’m locked in my cell, waiting to be called to an appointment. I walk back and forth—window, door, window, door—with the occasional stop at the cupboard to see if I’ve overlooked some food item. Food can be a medication to relieve my boredom, just as lust can.

On the outside, my early life looked like an episode from a Fifties sitcom. I was the third of six kids. My mom stayed at home, organized the family chores, baked bread every week, and had a hot dinner on the table every night when my dad came home. My dad worked all day, came home at six, and was home every weekend. He helped us fix our bikes and do our homework.

Many AA groups have a “Grapevine Rep” (GvR). The AA Service Manual describes that servant’s role as follows: “The GvR’s job is to make sure that members are aware of the Fellowship’s international journal and the enhancements to sobriety it offers… It is anticipated that each AA group would have a GvR and at least one subscription to the magazine” (AA Service Manual, Rev. 1991, S85).

At times I travel far away from my home group. Over the years, I have discovered tools that help me to travel in a sane and sober way. From these tools, I have developed a list of “Twelve Tips for Travel,” which I share with my sponsees whenever one of them is about to leave on a trip.

I recently started a new Skype online White Book Study, on Thursday nights Australian time, for those who are looking for a meeting in that time frame. These meeting last for one hour, and members have the opportunity to share on the reading and participate in general sharing if the time permits.

Because of SA, I have opportunities to work with sexaholics from all over the world. I (a Russian who lives in Chicago) am sponsoring Roberto (Mexican), who in turn is sponsoring an Orthodox Jew. Both of those men live in Chicago. I also have a couple of long-distance sponsees; one lives in Israel and the other lives in Russia.

I am a true “loner” living in a remote area in northern Maine. The closest SA meeting to me is about a five-hour drive away. Yet for the past four years, I have attended an SA meeting almost every day. I have been sober for more than two-and-a-half years and I have sponsored several people. How?

We are happy to announce the emergence of a new SA Region, the first to be formed with the support of the SA International Committee. The “Europe and Middle-East Region” (EMER) is fully operational and will hold its first face-to-face Regional Assembly and Convention at Ammerdown, UK from 30 August through 1 September 2012.

Writing and journaling have helped me process the emotions of the end of my 30-year relationship with my wife. I am powerless over what happens to me and I’m powerless over the resulting emotions, but I am not powerless over how I deal with my feelings.

We needed to ask ourselves but one short question. “Do I now believe, or am I even willing to believe, that there is a Power greater than myself?” (AA 47).
Only one question? Too simple. Or so I think when I’m trying too hard to solve all my problems at once.

I know all about doing a quick “1-2-3” when I am confronted with an obvious threat to my sobriety. For example: Should I go to the party when I know “she” will be there? In those moments, I mentally go through Steps One, Two, and Three, which I summarize as: “I can’t, He can, so let Him!”

In my addiction, I harmed many people whose names I don’t even remember. As I was considering how to make amends to these people, my sponsor pointed me to a passage in the White Book: “There is always some way to make an amends, even when the injured person is dead, lost, or nameless. …

Recently, while sitting in an SA business meeting, I began feeling uncomfortable. It seemed that others were not sufficiently valuing my opinion! I began feeling hostile, but I was unwilling to admit it to myself. In that moment, a lust image I thought I had given up came to the forefront of my mind.

As a sexaholic, I have a hard time dealing with life. I look at other people who seem to have it all together and wish somehow that my insides could look the way they look on the outside. Of course, I’m just kidding myself because I know that most people do not always look on the outside as they feel on the inside.

I am a convicted felon and a registered sex offender, and I’m very grateful to have passed through my second anniversary of SA sobriety this past December. I am thankful that there is such a fellowship and that I am able to attend two meetings a week, with a group of wonderful people who I can call my friends.