EMER held its first Regional Convention in Warsaw, Poland last October 25-27, with great results! We had approximately 152 participants, including 125 SA members (116 men and nine women) and 27 members of S-Anon. Of these, 117 participants were from Poland and 35 from other places in the world.

When I used to nourish lust thoughts, there was something going on inside me we might call spiritual fornication. Within my spirit I was shutting God out in rebellion, perverting the reality of the lust object to suit my sick need (splitting myself to create and then imagine that inner partner), and then having sex with her, which was really having sex with myself.

“Arrest and surrender in order to be set free—what a paradox!” (SA 83) Thus began my story of recovery on April 7, 1989, when my secret life lived in bondage to lust was shattered by an actual arrest, the resulting publicity, and the necessity of facing the literal question of whether to live or die.

I recently attended the 2013 international convention in Baltimore, and before the experience fades, I would like to take the action of expressing my gratitude in words to God and the fellowship.

In May 2002, I was separated from my wife of 17 years because of my addiction to pornography. We had two children: a 13-year-old daughter and a 15-year-old son. A professional counselor told them about my addiction.

Every person in recovery is different; every person in recovery is the same. That’s my conclusion after being among many fellow addicts in all stages of recovery. Unfortunately, I spent years stuck in the “white chip” stage of recovery—referring to the poker chip that many Twelve Step members pick up when starting or renewing the program.

When I was sober just over three months, a younger man asked me to sponsor him. He was shy and new to SA and I didn’t want to say no, so I said that I would be his temporary sponsor. When I called my sponsor to tell him what happened, he seemed skeptical and emphasized that I should definitely think of this as only temporary, since I myself was new to sobriety and Step work.

My name is Marie W., I’m a sexaholic, and my sobriety date is August 20, 2005. I came into SA because I was afraid I would die if I didn’t. I had started including self-inflicted pain in my acting-out behaviors. Today, because of SA, I’m learning to let go of old behaviors and replace them with healthy ones.

The first time I was confronted with a naked picture of a man and woman, it was in an educational book my mother gave me when I was in second grade. Despite experiencing the familiar rush of the forbidden and climbing on my roof with my friend to look at the pictures, I felt uncomfortable with the images.

My descent into addiction closely parallels the development of the Internet. In 1992, Newsweek featured a cover story highlighting this developing phenomenon. Around the same time, my employer gave us Internet access, and I started reading erotic stories online.

Dear SA Fellowship:
Although contributions have been down for the first six months of 2013, we have experienced growth in other areas. Donations from Conventions have been outstanding—particularly for the Atlanta convention. And, although literature sales have been down (because no new literature has been offered), ESSAY subscriptions have grown.

Dear Fellow SA Members:
The General Delegate Assembly met on Thursday and Friday, July 18-19, prior to the July convention. Attendees included Delegates, Alternates, Trustees, Trustee nominees, representatives from SAICO, and observers.

Dear SA Fellowship:
I am an SA woman living in Iran. The typical Iranian, it seems, has great difficulty understanding lust addiction and believing in SA’s program of recovery, and this can be even more difficult for women.

Last year I discovered just how generous our members can be when they see a real need. At the tender age of 50—for the first time in my life—I decided to try to raise money for a cause. As a Russian speaker, I was excited to attend the first-ever Russian-speaking SA Convention in Moscow in 2011.

I came to my first SA meeting while living in Tokyo back in 2002. Soon after, I moved back to the US, where I was in and out of SA for a few years. When I was relocated back to Tokyo in 2008, I was out of control again. I returned to the space where we used to meet, but no one was there. I was told the meeting had died off a few years earlier.

My self-centered fear is invisible to me. What may be obvious to others as my ego disease often looks to me like the “real world” or the facts of my life. Add to that my irrational conviction that “what I’m feeling right now will last forever,” and it’s no wonder I go crazy with fear! Feeling hopeless, I retreat into a convenient character defect: lusting, anger, judging, or isolation.

A friend and I were working on a Step Two exercise that my sponsor taught me. My friend was answering the question, “Why don’t you choose your own conception of God?” (AA 12). The exercise is to write down new ideas about a Higher Power.

Recently, an incident that occurred in a therapy group I attend that left me feeling resentful toward one of the group members. He had called me a “dry drunk.” I needed to work my program in order to address my resentment.

A couple of months ago, it became apparent that I would need to rotate out of the SA service structure due to other obligations in my life. I found myself struggling with grandiosity in the form of fear for the future of SA, and grief for the loss of my GDA friends, whom I would no longer be seeing on a regular basis.

Do you have a problem with money? I did. I had too much!