A few years before I came to SA, I saw several therapists. I didn’t realize it then, but I was looking for a “higher power” that would save me from myself, that would carry me. Being saved and carried was exactly what I tried to find in lust.

When I admitted powerlessness and unmanageability (Step One), I began Twelve-Step recovery. Within one week my spiritual awakening began as I could believe in the experience of others and feel hope. For me this was Step Two. Beginning to learn and live the Steps in my life (with some assistance from professionals) enlarged and deepened my spiritual awakening.

Every morning my alarm goes off at 5:30 am. I get up, put on clothes over my pajamas and go outside for a 30-min walk. This is where my morning ritual begins, supporting the SA program with another method. This method is about mindset (attention, dedication, focus and meditation), about breathing and cold therapy.

You are the mother I have always longed for
Showering me with affection and overwhelming me with love
You are the father I never thought I had
Raising me into a man and leading me from above

In the April issue, read about the miracles that have happened in members’ lives since they started living according to our common sobriety definition.

Starting an SA meeting in prison is not an easy job, despite lust being a widespread problem. Although I had no experience with prison meetings to speak of, I did not let that get in the way. My own lusting experience and service had shown me how we can be uniquely useful to others.

The author of “Giving Time to My Family Is Service Too” describes how he had plenty of time to do SA service when he got sober in 2009 and was no longer filling up every spare minute with lust. He lists all the services he did in the first years of his recovery, services that are available for us to do too.

During my first month in our fellowship, someone tipped me off to attend the Sunday Easy Does It But Do It meeting— a literature study meeting with a very nice family atmosphere. That really turned out to be true. The group quickly felt like family.

Many of us first experienced the joy of service in early recovery when we started giving back to our home group—turning up on time, sharing respectfully and honestly, helping set up the room and welcoming newcomers.

Why am I still in SA? A simple answer to this question could be, “I am here because I have to be,” but that doesn’t tell the whole story. The pain of repeatedly hitting bottom lines was enough to get me in the door, but never enough to keep me inside.

If I had to choose one word to describe how I felt for most of my life, I would choose “disconnected.” I had a hard time making friends in both kindergarten and school. There were many engaging ways to escape reality—creating stories in my head, adventure books, and video games.

I’m Mike and I’m a sexaholic, sobriety date Aug 7, 2005. SA has given me my second chance at life and has been central to my recovery, but other things have helped too.

In active addiction, my slogan was “Being alone in heaven is harder than being with a girl in hell.” In early childhood, I could not imagine a world without girls. I used to be ridiculed for playing with girls instead of boys. Who cared, as far as I was concerned; I enjoyed playing innocently with girls

My job has nothing to do with graphic design, advertising, illustration of magazines, or anything like that … years ago in my beginnings in SA I combined the design of the bulletin of my parish with sessions of consumption of chat and pornography … only by a miracle of my Higher Power did I never by accident place a lust image in one of those newsletters… And, logically, the quality of my work was barely regular, the time invested twice as much as normal, I stayed up late and I used to be easily annoyed if someone criticized my work.

In my early days in SA I was single, had no job, no car, no money, and a lot of time. It was 2009, and because of the economic crisis I was unemployed. I attended three to four meetings a week, called my sponsor daily, wrote my Step work daily, and translated the whole White Book, Big Book, and Recovery Continues into my native language within a year.

In November 2022 I had the pleasure of travelling to Rome for the Italian-speaking fellowship’s convention (this is how I describe it, but I believe they called it a workshop). It was held in a beautiful spot, just behind the Colosseum, as you can see from the picture (taken from the gardens of the convention site).

Eager to improve carrying the message to sexaholics all over the world, the ESSAY team, supervised by the Board of Trustees, has built essay.sa.org, a website in responsive design, which means it can be read as a 21st-century digital magazine on your smartphone, tablet, and computer.

قبل از پیوستن به SA، فعالیت‌هایی را انجام میدادم که برای انجام آنها یک نیّت پنهان داشتم – شناختن یک مرد یا شناساندن خودم به یک مرد بعنوان یک “شوهر بالقوه”. وقتی به این انگیزه های دیوانه وارم فکر می کنم، از خجالت در خودم جمع میشوم. در حالی که قدم چهارم را انجام می دادم، راهنمایم، از من پرسید که اگر هرگز ازدواج نکنم، میتوانم زندگی را بپذیرم؟

شادی در بهبودی آخرین چیزی بود که زمانی که من وارد جلسات شدم به آن فکر می‌کردم. من به آخر خط رسیده بودم و فکر می‌کردم که دیگر هیچ‌وقت لذت در زندگی من نخواهد بود و شادی خیلی کمی را دوباره خواهم داشت. من را در حال شهوت‌رانی دیده بودند و به همین علت ازدواجم و ارتباطم با فرزندان نوجوانم از بین رفت. هیچ‌وقت فکر نمی‌کردم در 6 سالی که به سرعت گذشت، من لذت را در زندگی پیدا خواهم کرد و در بهبودی شاد خواهم بود. با اجرا کردن اصول این انجمن در تمام امور زندگی‌ام، من قادر بوده‌ام که شادی و لذت را در تمامی بخش‌های زندگیم شامل ارتباط با همسرم، اعضای خانواده‌ام و انجمن معتادان جنسی گمنام بازسازی کنم.

من سعی میکنم تا تجربه، نیرو و امید خودم را در مورد نقشی که پدرم روی کی در معتاد جنسی شدن و بهبودی من از آن، ایفا کرد، را به اشتراک بگذارم. به لطف اعتیاد و نقص های شخصیتی، ما هر دو این یک جاده پر دست انداز را طی کردیم.