The article from the March 1998 issue of Essay “Only a Deluge of Grace Could Save Me” touched me very much. After reading it, I came to realize that sexual sobriety is a gift from a loving and compassionate God to one who admits the delusion and betrayal of lust, who is ready to call for help with a sincere desire to recover, and who is willing to do anything possible to work the 12-Step program as suggested and guided by a good sponsor.

Let me begin with a clear and obvious announcement to you. I am sick. I am very sick. And I was terribly sick. Because of this illness I am with you in the great and wonderful, life-giving fellowship of SA. I’m delighted to be able to do this.

I hear many people at meetings introduce themselves like this, or in a similar way. Sometimes I hear, “I’m AA, Al-Anon, OA, SA and ACOA.” What kind of secret language is this? Why do we have to express ourselves in such a complicated manner? Why do we have to name a number of groups to introduce ourselves as people? What is this introduction good for?

I came to SA having been sober in AA for 17 years. In AA, I never celebrated my anniversary. I felt that the “numbers” would distract me from being aware of what is really happening with me — my inner thoughts and feelings.

I was two weeks sober in SA, lying in bed in the middle of the day in a hotel room 1,000 miles from home, watching television. It will come as no surprise to anyone in our fellowship that I was consumed by lust and trying to talk myself out of acting out. “Look, Michael,” I said to myself, “nobody in SA expects you to stay sober right away. If you masturbate, you can always go back to the meetings and tell everybody about it, and nobody is going to be disappointed in you. And besides, you can always put together a couple of weeks again!”

Recently the idea came to me that the members of our SA group might pray for each other. Our group has been growing, and praying for each other can be a way of supporting and strengthening each other. At each meeting, we pray for SA members yet to come when we have a moment of silence. How else can I pray for others?

Peter came to SA because he wasn’t happy with his sobriety in another S-fellowship. In SA, Peter enjoyed eight years of sexual sobriety. His gratitude for his sobriety and new life, and his dedication to SA showed in his wonderful commitment to service work at the group and national level. He spoke and chaired frequent public information meetings in a 12-Step clinic in the area, and in other parts of the country.

I had always heard, “Service work helps you work your program,” but never believed it until I did service work! Now I say that slogan to others. I try to keep two jobs of service work going to help my own program.

The SA Corrections Committee would like to gratefully acknowledge the many gifts and contributions from individuals, groups, and Intergroups for literature to prisoners. This vital Twelfth Step work to those who still suffer in prison can continue because of your generosity, kindness and support.

The Loners Committee consists of members who live in isolated areas or where they cannot attend a meeting as often as they would like. They write or call each other. This service is considered a lifeline to those who use it.

Dear Essay,
Good job on The Interfellowship Forum. That was very well written and helpful to me, especially as a single male who struggles with homosexuality (but it is not my identity). Member story “Only a Deluge of Grace Could Free Me” was also well written, powerful and helpful to me. I really like your newsletters.

This is my first post to the cyber meeting. I am only two months in the program and 21 days sober, but I have had an incredible awakening. Things are seeming to happen in my life from many different avenues. I received a “welcome home” greeting this morning when I was added to the e-mail list, which caused me to sit at my computer at work with tears streaming down my face. I can’t explain it, but I know that God has gotten a hold of me somehow after all these years.

I just returned from our Tuesday night Step meeting. During this meeting we take a 30-minute session for each person to do individual Step work, which is then shared with the group. I have found it necessary to return to Step Two and I thought I would share on that Step in order to make my “taking” of that Step more real to me.

Peter S. here, sober at the moment by the Grace of God. I have a mental disorder that qualifies me as one of those “who suffer from grave emotional and mental disorders.” It is simply a neurotransmitter imbalance in my brain that makes me incredibly susceptible to mood swings. Nothing has made that more apparent to me than just the weather here in Seattle yesterday and today.

Some people have asked me about the fear list and gratitude list. I don’t have a formula, but here’s how I do them:

About a year ago I worked the Twelve Steps with my sponsor. I thought I was doing fine even though my sponsor left town. Then I noticed problems developing in my relationship. My wife noticed it too. She said, “Things were going better when you were working the Steps.” So I decided to do another Fourth Step focused on my relationship. I got a new sponsor to work with me. Here are the defects and fears I identified, followed by the way I have put what I’ve learned from this Step into practice in my life.

During high school I was getting more and more confused. I would hitchhike and pick up men for sex in exchange for money to buy drugs or impress my friends. My “friends” were druggies. I was surprised that good looking girls would hang around me. I was an egomaniac with an inferiority complex.

Over 40 SAs and S-Anons from all over Europe gathered at Mill Hill, just north of London, for the first European SA/S-Anon Convention over the weekend of March 27-29. The theme was “Freedom,” progressing through the Steps with successive sessions entitled: “Freedom from Obsession”; “Were Entirely Ready”; “Pathway to Peace”; and “Of Myself I Am Nothing.” Saturday afternoon was devoted to sessions for couples, women and “recovering entrepreneurs,” which explored the lust-money-power connection. Saturday evening was devoted to the usual absurd quiz games, music, poetry and fun.

Over the weekend of April 24-26, the 4th Australian SA conference was held at Camp Cottermouth, Canberra, the national capital. 28 members from around Australia attended. The theme for this year’s conference was “The Real Connection.”

I’m Paul H., a grateful sexaholic, sober since December 1996. The nature of my disease is lusting, wanting to be lusted after, compulsive masturbation, use of pornography, dependency relationships, and anonymous encounters.