When I came into SA in 2009, I balked at the part of the sobriety definition that says “no form of sex with self or with persons other than the spouse” (SA 191-192). I had come from a secular upbringing, and I lived through three divorces of my parents. First they divorced each other, then each of them married someone else, and then each divorced again. Marriage was not for me.

I was on a slippery slope. For the past few months I had begun indulging in lust, as well as resentment, anger, and self-pity. I was yelling at my kids, demanding things from my husband and family, and wallowing in self-pity. I was spending more time in my head, in fantasy about past sexual encounters.

In May 2014, while out of the country on a business trip with my husband, I met a man who disclosed to me that he was a sexaholic. I told him that I thought I might also be a sexaholic, but I was shocked by the sobriety definition. I asked him, “You will never masturbate again?!” I was astounded. I didn’t think that was possible. He told me about his Higher Power, and that there is hope.

I’m Harvey A., a sexaholic from Nashville, TN. My sobriety date is March 8, 1984. I can hardly believe that I’m now 75 years old and have been sexually sober for more than 31 years. When I began the SA recovery program at age 44, I had a full head of hair that had not yet turned grey. At 75, what hair I have is completely grey. My outward appearance has changed over the past 31 years. But it’s the change in my inner self that I want to share with the fellowship today.

Thanksgiving 2010 was a sunny day in San Diego, and I had nowhere to go for dinner. This scene was scary. It fed into my history of isolating and living inside my head, away from family and other relationships. I usually made plans to be with friends on holidays, but it didn’t work out that year.

As Chair of SA’s International Convention Committee (SA ICC), one of my many blessings comes at the convention “wrap up” meeting. I try to arrive early so that I can watch the members of the host committee filter in. The joy on their faces says it all.

A funny (?) thing happened at this year’s Unity Convention in Irvine, CA in October. The hotel where the event was held also booked another major conference. That in itself is not noteworthy, except that the other conference was an international ballroom dancing competition.

I just returned from the fall Mid-Atlantic Region convention held in Pittsburgh in October, and I would like to share my experiences. For the past two years I’ve been attending SA meetings sporadically. I’ve had periods of sexual sobriety, but lately I’ve had trouble staying sober.

I’m Leo, a sexaholic, just back from the fourth annual convention of the Russian-speaking fellowship in Moscow, held October 31 to November 2. This was the second one I’ve attended. Although I’ve been in SA for 10 years, I haven’t been able to stay sober.

Twenty-five years ago, having had a first spiritual awakening, I embarked on a month-long pilgrimage to Europe, traveling alone. The trip ended in my acting out in a public place, and the final, inescapable realization that I was powerless over lust. This admission brought me to SA.

SA’s French-speaking Intergroup was founded March 2, 2013, and in December 2013 we joined EMER. Currently, there are three French-speaking meetings in Europe: one in Lille, France; one in Brussels, Belgium; and one in Luxembourg. Our meetings are still quite small (five to nine members) so we always appreciate getting input from long-term SA members from other countries.

When I came into the rooms of SA, I was relieved to learn that God was so important to the Program. I was always a deep believer in God; in fact, I would say that He got me here. He gave me the kick in the pants that I needed to get me to these rooms.

I came into SA in May of 2010 and have been gratefully sober since August of that year. At each stage of sobriety and recovery, I feel my vision is changing. Over the past couple of years in SA, I’ve noticed many paradoxes (also called apparent contradictions) that serve as the foundation for my continued growth in recovery. I believe that the potential list of paradoxes is endless, but following are some I’ve come up with so far.

Is my life better today than before I surrendered to God and started working the SA program? Absolutely! Is my life in sobriety what I imagined it would be like? Absolutely not. I certainly did not know the extent of the changes I would need to make when I started working the Steps.

As part of my recovery over the past five years, I’ve made cartoons based on recovery concepts. Translating my recovery into visual terms helps keep me focused on the solution. The cartoon below came to me in May of 2009, while at the house of an old-timer in the UK where I was staying to work the Steps.

I have sponsored and been sponsored. Long-sober members often describe their sponsors with reverence. But if they talk long enough, they sometimes admit that the person who first helped them get sober is no longer sober themselves.

It’s 4:23 a.m. as I write this. Before getting up to write, I had lain in bed for half an hour processing a close call. The close call was not the trip to the emergency room we made the night before, when my daughter needed medical attention.

I came into SA in 1993 with a desire to fix my marriage. I had heard other newcomers share this goal, and it seemed reasonable to me. But placing my marriage relationship before my personal recovery led me to significant danger.

I’m Mike, a sexaholic, and I’ve been sexually sober since June 3, 1984. I’m grateful to the members of my home group, who have helped me stay sober for the past 30 years. I’m also grateful for my wife, who probably should have dumped me many times over the years, but for some reason she has chosen to stay. We have a pretty decent marriage today—but it wasn’t always that way.

Dear SA Fellowship:
I am grateful to the fellowship for stepping forward in your contributions to SAICO this past year. Our net revenues have increased by $29,600 over budget so far this year.