What solutions to despair have worked for you?

Your three new Editors are so pleased to follow the wonderful nine-year editorship of Barbara F. and her Essay team. We hope to continue the fine editorial and aesthetic standards she established for Essay.

When we heard that the January 2017 International SA/S-Anon Convention is to be held in Jerusalem, our first thought was, “Wow! That’s big news for both fellowships: the first ever SA/S-Anon International Convention outside of North America…”

The 5th convention of Sexaholics Anonymous was held in Moscow with the theme “The 4th Dimension of Existence.” Participants were from Ukraine, Belorussia, UK, Germany, USA, Iran and Russia. There were about 70 registered participants: 50 men and 20 women.

I’m Bill, a sexaholic from the USA. Last August I arrived in Warsaw for a weekend retreat. We had nearly 50 SA members from Poland, Slovakia, Finland, Germany, Belgium, the Netherlands, and Spain for a discussion of several principles of recovery from sexaholism.

The recent 2016 SA International Convention in San Diego, California was my first experience of such a gathering. My first years of SA consisted mostly of phone meetings, working with a phone sponsor and attending lots of other recovery group meetings face to face.

Recently I had the great good fortune to speak at a joint women’s shelter / District Attorney’s program for men arrested in prostitution stings. They don’t want to be there.

It was July 31, 2015, and I was in the shower. Without warning, in the space of about a minute and a half, three different lust images came through my thoughts. Soon after I let the first one go—20 or 30 seconds later—here came another! Soon after I let that one go, there was a third!

My natural tendency is to vacillate between pride and shame. Maybe I hit moments of humility somewhere in between. It occurs to me that both pride and shame are dishonest states of being, while humility is completely honest.

Part of me knew from very early on that I was a sexaholic. Part of me didn’t want to admit that or accept it. Part of me wanted to be rid of “the addict.” Part of me wanted to give into that and just enjoy my acting out.

Does meditation impact my recovery? Absolutely! I meditate in order to formulate how to complete each Step. I find meditation to be helpful to new members to simplify the Step process.

“I want to quit” is in my mind nearly every time I go a pool to swim laps. I have learned that “I want to quit!” means that I’m doing something that matters and that finishing it will benefit me. Only when I’m doing something important does my “I want to quit!” thought come to my head.

These days seem so hard at times; I keep looking for a text that will never come, a phone call that will never be made. I miss the smile and laughter I once heard and the kindness I once felt.

I have always been amused by the phrase, “Be careful what you pray for—you might get it!”

Not long ago, I did it: I put a Desire chip in my mouth. And no, it didn’t melt.

Dear Barbara,
The service structure of SA would like to take this opportunity to thank you for your service to the Fellowship of SA as the editor of ESSAY. We would love to give you a standing ovation for your efforts. Since we know how much that would embarrass you, we will remind you that you can pull out this letter if you ever need to feel appreciated.

The year 2015 has been an eventful one for me, for my home group, and for the French-speaking Intergroup. I came to SA in March 2012, at a group located in Lille, France. My home group in Lille opened in 2009 and has grown steadily. This is the only SA group in France.

Early this year, I was invited by the EMER Regional Assembly to travel and give some talks to the fellowship, at the Poland Congress of SA/S-Anon (October 23-25), in Poznan, Poland; The First Annual SA/S-Anon Retreat in Lille, France (October 30-November 1); and the Fifth annual Russian-speaking SA Convention (November 6-8) in Moscow.

While attending the International Convention in Portland in January, I found myself saying to God that I was ready to be of service again. Shortly thereafter, I ran into an SA member living in Russia.

On February 10th, 2014, I learned that Randy had passed away from a heart attack a few days earlier, while on a holiday cruise with his wife. Randy would have had five years of sobriety on February 22, 2014. Randy’s life had quite an impact on me, and I have felt moved to share it.