IN THE CURRENT MAGAZINE

My sponsor used to say to me, “Why Feed the Wolf? Let It Starve,” referring to the lust residing in my brain. At first, I partially agreed with him. Deep down, though, I believed that this lust was integral to my character, to who I am, even though I knew that it was killing me, killing my soul. I struggled with the idea of letting it starve. I associated hunger with food and believed that, if I were hungry, the only solution was to eat; calling a fellow, attending a meeting, or praying to alleviate the feeling of hunger won’t put food in my belly. Likewise, I projected that only acting out could feed my lust hunger. I eventually realized that this perspective is false, but it took me a couple of years to truly grasp it.

I’ve been a sexaholic my whole life, and it’s the most important fact in my life. I’ve other addictions and other Fellowships also. Sexaholism is not the one which would kill me quickest, as the saying goes, but it is the major focus of my life in recovery, being the most all-encompassing and all-pervasive of them.

In the chapter on the First Step in the White Book, in the last paragraph it says: "A broken and contrite spirit—the spirit of the First Step—is the key that opens the door and sets us free."

I am sober by the SA sobriety definition eight years now, by the grace of a Higher Power. I like the number eight because it reminds me of the infinity sign. And even though I'm still learning to live within the day, the program offers me endless hope, day by day.

I wrote this prayer to help me when I’m working with others; it’s adapted from chapter seven of Alcoholics Anonymous.

This is a postcard I sent from the Cracow Convention, where I asked fellow attendees to write something or at least their names for my home group in Italy. It was a meaningful experience for me to engage with both familiar faces and newly met fellows, offering a small way to "carry the message" to those who couldn't be present. Additionally, it could serve as a bridge from our group to the larger SA fellowship. There were many names written, reflecting various languages and alphabets. My only regrets? Not buying a larger postcard to collect even more messages, and not using colored pens.

In Hungary, SA was founded in September 2019. We currently have three weekly meetings, two online and one hybrid, but there is real interest in Monday's hybrid meeting in Budapest. Participation activity varies—members come and go—but we have about six to eight returning members. The meeting types are varied and include free sharing, SA White Book reading, AA Big Book reading, and speaker meetings.