IN THE CURRENT MAGAZINE

How do I encapsulate what the Essay magazine means to me and my recovery? I look forward to each issue like a kid heading to a candy store. I can’t wait to read each and every article, and typically enjoy a good laugh at the cartoons which invariably include nuggets of wisdom that broaden my recovery toolbox.

My first encounter with Essay was in 2016, when I was a couple of months sober from lust. My first sponsor sent me the magazine, along with a step-by-step assignment and other SA literature. Admittedly, the magazine looked unusual—it was a Word file with several translated articles.

An SA friend had what seemed like an old copy of a book in his pocket. It was all rolled up. It turned out to be the Essay magazine. He asked if I wanted to read it and I said yes. There is a certain nostalgia to getting that paper all rolled up having been used by many people in recovery before me. Me being just the next lucky drunk to get to hold it for a bit.

When I arrived at Sexaholics Anonymous in August, 1988, the periodic mailings from the Simi Valley Central Office in California were carefully read. While I have a fairly complete set of Essays from 1991 on, I only have a few samples of the earlier issues.

Lust addiction and sexual acting-out brought me into SA, but it was the spirituality of the SA literature and deeper spiritual fellowship I found in SA meetings that kept me coming back and called me to perform service in SA. With a background in writing and editing, I served on the SA Literature Committee that edited the White Book and Recovery Continues as well as other SA literature.

It was my privilege to serve as Essay editor during the years 1999-2000. My service term was short, but memorable. I could not always keep pace with the Essay production schedule. I will always admire those before and after me who have produced regular Essay issues full of inspiring material. We owe them a debt of gratitude. Theirs is not an easy task.

I’m Barbara, a grateful sexaholic, sober since December 12, 2001 and Essay editor newsletter since March 2007. I’m grateful to the fellowship for allowing me to be of service all these years; this has been one of the biggest blessings of my recovery.

When Eddie Rickenbacker’s plane ran out of gas over the Pacific during World War II, he and his crew were in a perilous situation. Adrift on the ocean with three rafts and four oranges, they had to pull together or die.

The words of Step Two roll off my lips. “Came to believe that a Power greater than ourselves could restore us to sanity.” They are so easy to repeat. I think, “Of course I believe in a Higher Power, otherwise I wouldn’t be here.” I ask myself, “Really?”

The Nov 14 Newcastle Convention was one of the most powerful experiences we have ever had. It was face to face as well as online. Hal and Scott related how they took many people through the steps the old way, the way Bill and Bob did it.