IN THE CURRENT MAGAZINE

Those of us who’ve been in the SA India fellowship since 2014 tried to start working on a White Book translation many times over the past few years. It was paused due to the lack of participation. Initially we were frustrated; some even left SA. Over time, we learned that things happen best when we give it over to God.

I got involved with the service of translating the literature into Italian over the past few years. This has mostly involved translations of the White Book, Step Into Action, and some program pamphlets. I’ve been one link in that chain: another fellow did the translation, while I revised the translated material, as required by the process we follow in SA in order to translate and then approve the work.

Fourteen years ago I took a college course “Introduction To Translation 101.” A guide to the basic foundation of translating text from Arabic into English (and vice versa). Our professor told us that translation is a craft, which even if you master it, will never achieve the exact meaning that the original author was trying to say.

“I wanted so to break through and relate to other children … I was off somewhere hiding inside myself …” (SA 10)

My name is Keith. I am a grateful sexaholic. My SA sobriety date is 15 July 2012. Thank you for this opportunity to share my indebtedness and gratitude for SA to my SA family worldwide.

Over the years I’ve called my sponsor many times to surrender a woman’s body part or some annoying euphoric recall. He would respond, “That’s what we do. We are sexaholics and we are vulnerable to lust. It’s what we do next that matters. The key is surrendering our right to lust to God.”

(1) Can I see that lack of power is my problem? As long as substances, lust, sexually acting out, and people are my higher power, I am a slave to them. I call it King Lust, but even clearer for me was King Marijuana which was my most dependent relationship of them all. He controlled my moves and was running the show completely wherever I was.

I do try to use the tools of the program in my recovery. But, on a given day, when it comes to actually sitting down and getting started, I can barely bring myself to do it. Overwhelmed by guilt and by the fear that my sponsor will fire me, I used to manage a slow start into Step work maybe once or twice a week.

Surrender. I was too strong for that. Too many people were counting on my strength. Too many people would be horrified and hurt if they knew what I had done. So many lies in those few thoughts.

I wrote this poem way back in ‘92. I go back to it often, and thought I might share it with my SA community.