IN THE CURRENT MAGAZINE

Eight years ago, I decided to take a month’s leave of absence from work to travel to Florida and enjoy the beautiful March weather of the sunshine state, as well as to practice my favorite sport: golf. One important concern I had when I made that decision: how would I be able to maintain my SA routine that has enabled me to keep progressing in my recovery, which includes attending, on a regular basis, SA meetings?

When I was asked if I wanted to share anything with the GDA, I thought about it and welcomed the opportunity. First, I love this very special fellowship of the Spirit, which on the personal relationship level can go deep as we “bear one another’s burdens” and so fulfill the law of love. Thank you!

I recently returned home from two months of traveling and living my life in another country. One of the hardest parts of those two months of travel was the disruption to my “standard practice” of my Sexaholics Anonymous program of recovery. I know that disruptions will happen. That’s life.

I was born in a religious family who always believed in Allah and His power. Actually I was believing that He can do anything except this one thing, so I had problems. I couldn’t pray and ask Him about this addiction. I was so resentful how my life was totally destroyed. I can’t describe the remorse and self-pity I felt every time I relapsed.

Recently I faced the most severe challenge I’ve had in 18 months of sobriety. An explicit image and message appeared on my phone out of the blue one day when I was in a meeting at work. Like a deer in headlights, I was struggling to know what to do next. I thought it might be someone I had acted out with in the past.

Whenever I get into negative or obsessive thinking, I try to remember the great promise of recovery from sex and lust addiction as I first experienced it. We all remember where we were and what we were doing when first we learned of something that would forever change our lives, especially something that promised us freedom from a hopeless state of mind and body.

For years I had not set up a voicemail on my phone. It just did not seem worth the time or energy. Out of a sense of ignorance, I was not thinking of anyone else’s convenience. I suppose I figured I wasn’t worth leaving a voicemail for anyway. However, at the urging of my sponsor I went ahead and activated my voicemail.

One day a sexaholic out walking alone fell into a pit. The pit was deep. As much as he tried, the sexaholic couldn’t get out. He tried to jump up and to climb up, but this proved useless. He was stuck in the pit with no apparent way out.

When you asked me about how to respond to temptations, I thought I could share a few suggestions and insights with you.

When we come to SA the most important question we can ask ourselves is “What is the point of sobriety?” Maybe we want to strive to “get something back” or to “get something” in the first place — a husband, a wife, a job. Maybe we work to be just “good enough,” mostly sober. Or maybe we just keep coming back to get support for our illness like Roy talks about in Recovery Continues (p67).